A Soft Heart

I was reading Mark earlier and it talks about Jesus walking on water and although the disciples are freaking out over this what they're *really* upset about is what he did with the bread and fish from earlier that day. Their hearts hardened, and they felt frustrated. How could this so-called Jesus take less and make it more? Because that's essentially what he did. He asked the disciples,

"Well, what do you have to offer?"

And they basically said well, nothing really, Lord. Definitely not enough for hundreds of people.

Their hearts were hardened. God, how can you take less and make it more? How do you do it? Sure, okay, you have authority. But why the spectacle? Why not make more....more?

I think I can identify with the disciples, more than I ought to.

Jesus said--hey, don't be afraid. It's just me. Like when you're watching a new episode of 24 and someone enters the room and touches your shoulder to let you know they're there. It's just them. No need for alarm.

It's just Jesus. Chill out.

"...for they had not understood about the loaves, their hearts were hardened." (6:52)

And as for me, well, I cannot do this any more. I cannot fall in and out and under and over and backwards and upside down in love, again and again and again.

Yet it is what I do.

Tonight, I am tired.